The Tempest Papers: Tempest Doesn’t Cuddle!

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Dear Paris,
There is something wrong with the dog. Nothing terribly serious, but my god
he is stupid. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him that I do not want to
cuddle. Its like his brain resets every damn day and he can’t remember shit
from the day before.
Seriously. I have to tell him again. Every. Single. Day.
TEMPEST DOESN’T CUDDLE.
I would just make a sign, but I’m pretty sure he’s too stupid to read.
DOGS ARE DUMB!

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I’ve taken to switching out my hiding spots each day so that he can’t find me and I can’t even tell you what an inconvenience that is for me. Not that anyone cares about MY needs. I’m just the cat, after all.
Pissed off all over again,
Tempest
Queen of the boat pets, Overlord of the floating Castle of 11 Purple Monkeys and apparent CUDDLER OF DOGS.
P.S. Throwback Friday. So sue me, I’m a cat. Can you really expect me to follow human rules? This is just evidence of how long this asinine cuddling shit has been going on… in FULL VIEW of you humans. Look at me! I was just a baby and you still tried to make me love that dog!

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Find all of the previous Tempest Papers HERE

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