Guess Who? The Tempest Papers, Letters from a Boat Cat in the Bahamas

Another letter from Tempest today… Tempest was our boat cat while we lived on a sailboat from Florida through the Bahamas, Turks & Caicos and The Dominican Republic. She wrote letters back home to her other humans to let them know how she was doing.

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Dear Paris,
Hello, its me again. I suppose I don’t have to keep pointing that out. I mean who else is writing to you regularly? Not these useless humans (and they have fingers and everything. You should see what a pain in the ass it is to type with paws the size of mine and no thumbs whatsoever. I swear I spend more time deleting mistakes than even getting words out in the first place. I guess in that sense its good that I am a cat, since I have fuck all else to do all day.)
That last paragraph took me so long that I forgot what I was planning to write about today. Oh well, probably nothing terribly interesting. I did take an incredibly big shit yesterday, but as usual, your father threw it away. I suppose since you’re a human as well, you probably don’t find it anymore interesting than he does, but I was totally impressed. I think Elephant was impressed as well, but she’s being pissy again lately, so of course she wasn’t about to give me praise over doing something amazing.
That being said, I think its time to visit the toilet box again.
Adieu,
Tempest
Queen of the boat pets, Overlord of the floating Castle of 11 Purple Monkeys, Defecator Extroidanaire.
P.S. Your mom tried to take a photo of me on the back deck… I foiled her plans with my ninja skills! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Read More Tempest Papers HERE!

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