Letter Nine: That #$%& Dog Wants to be my BFF, The TempestPapers

Another letter from our boat cat, Tempest, writing to her human (Paris aka @loliboofae back on land) Featuring yet another awesome part of the family, Tiberius


Dear Paris,
Hey girl, what’s up? I’m feeling pretty damn good about myself right now. Apparently Cinnamon spread the word about my amazing ass kicking abilities the other day. Now all the animals are cowering around me.
The only bad part is that the damn dog Tiberius now wants to be my best friend and cuddle and shit. I thought dogs were supposed to hate cats. I wish someone would give him the memo. I swear, the slobbering, hugging shit has got to go. He’s going to ruin my reputation as a bad ass if the other animals see us cuddling.
That being said, don’t tell anyone I said so, but it’s kind of nice to have a friend now that you’ve left. I mean, of course, it WOULD be nice to have a friend if he wasn’t so stupid.


Anyway, Tiberius says “hi” (and “ride” and “ball”) and we’re working on some vocabulary skills so maybe one day he’ll be able to form a semi-coherent sentence with more than one word. I’ve attached a photo of his stupid face, so you don’t forget him. Look at that dumb dog. sighIt’s a damn good thing I’m so smart. This is going to take some skill.
Your cuddle-resistant cat,
Queen of the pets, Overlord of the floating castle, Missing you enough that I’m considering friendship with the damn dog.




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