**I’ll be posting new fiction this weekend! For now, here is the story of child #3: My birthday blogging tradition this year:
My third child, Jaedin, was born this month. He is 14 months younger than his brother, Kainan. He was as much of a surprise as all of my kids, maybe even more, since Kainan was still nursing full time at 6 months old when I realized that something felt… off. Turns out that was because we were going to have another baby. I was a bit freaked out. Three kids ages 4 and under seemed really overwhelming!
My mother in law and I had a bit of a, how shall I say it? Tense relationship (I know, we still haven’t told the rest of the wedding story). Suffice it to say that she was a control freak and I was a control freak. She had been in control of her son’s choices for his entire life until I came along and upset the apple cart so to speak. There had been little power struggles ever since.
This was a minor one, much like the one with Kainan’s name choice. She laughed when she saw the announcements and said, “Well, you’re pretty bold, aren’t you? You’re that confident that he’ll be born before the end of the month?”
Now, in hindsight, I can see that she was maybe just making a comment, but at the time I was sensitive, pregnant and we were still in the throes of finding our places as Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law and it just pissed me off. She had a very… superior air about her at times and it just set me on edge.
Needless to say, when Jaedin was so kind as to be born on August 30th, I was VERY relieved. I don’t remember if she brought it up, or if Patrick did, but I believe I said, “Tell your mother I was right and he even left a full day to spare!”
Lawd, what a weird thing to feel so tense about.
ANYWAY, Jaedin was born in the fastest birth yet. Almost exactly one hour of super intense fast contractions with barely a break in between. The labor had happened so fast that I didn’t have time to do anything. I had planned to get into the bathtub to ease things a bit and that would have actually been very helpful, but when we started the water, we discovered that our propane was out and we had no hot water. Things were progressing far too fast to make any other plans.
Patrick had went upstairs to prepare the bedding in our bedroom so that I could give birth up there, but by the time he was done, I was already sitting on our overstuffed (white!) chair in the living room and there was no way in HELL that I was going to make it up the stairs with full on contractions going and no break in between.
That’s also the birth where I slapped the midwife’s hand because she kept rubbing my thigh to calm me. I do NOT like to be touched at all when I am in pain. It takes me out of my ‘safe place’ in my head and makes everything so much worse.
Jaedin was born in the ‘caul’ (my water hadn’t broken) after one hour of labor, his hand was up against his face and the cord was wrapped around his neck, but also around his arm that was in the way. I barely pushed at all, my body pretty much did it without any thought or effort on my part. It was short, but actually may have been the most traumatic birth I had because it was just so damn fast with no break at all, I barely had time to realize that I was in labor before it was too intense to speak or move or do anything and then suddenly, “BABY’S HERE!”
It felt a little crazy.
I was so happy to have two little boys so close in age. I imagined them being so much alike, playing together and always being best friends. So, of course, they were polar opposites. Jaedin was into bugs, critters, dirt, science and asking a million questions about bugs, critters, science and pretty much everything. Kainan was into play ball, games of pretty much any kind and winning.
ANYWAY, Kainan was very competitive, but Jaedin was the most motivated child I have. Still is to this day. This helped in ways I couldn’t have foreseen. Trying to get Kainan to potty train was impossible until the moment he saw Jaedin go in the potty. Suddenly it was a dire emergency that HE be the first one to be potty trained. This happened over and over again as they were growing up and it was almost silly how competitive Kainan was about things like that. It definitely worked in my favor, though.
Jaedin is one of the children of mine with the power to follow through (we’re not all great at the follow through), with the intelligence to learn just about anything he wants to learn. He will put a plan into action and do the work to make it happen. He doesn’t have a problem doing the tedious shit that generally bores the rest of us to distraction, no, he’ll stick with it and do amazing things.
And he’e the child that built a forge int he back yard when he was 17. Now that he’s older, he’s made a much bigger one… in the driveway.
I couldn’t be more proud of the way they have all turned out… but since today is Jaedin’s day, I’ll just say:
Happy birthday to my favorite youngest son. I’m beyond proud of the man you are and the way you live your life, make choices and continue to learn. You are an incredible, amazing person.
Now… off to finish the lasagna for the family night/birthday dinner tonight!