Letter Eight: Throwback Thursday, Learning to Swim for My Life

It’s that time again! “Caturday” or the beginning of the Weekend of Tempest Papers! I’m posting a letter from Tempest each Saturday. These are letters that the salty-ass boat cat Tempest writes to her humans back on land. Of course today’s letter is a “Throwback Thursday” and you’ll notice that it is not Thursday. Of course the letter was surelywritten on a Thursday and I won’t insult Tempest by assuming that she doesn’t know her days of the week. 😉 However, the mail is slow in getting back to the USA from the Bahamas, so we’ll just blame the post office!


Dear Paris,
Tempest here. The humans are going in about something called ‘Throwback Thursday” where you post some cute ass picture to remind everyone of the good times.
I, of course, have a better idea. A photo of when you threw me to the sharks. Remember?
Okay, so maybe you didn’t exactly throw me. Regardless, I got wet. I could have drowned. Or become a delightful tasty small for an ocean predator.
I could have been swept away to a deserted island, left alone to fend for myself, living on a diet of raw fish that I had to catch myself.


And you know what? It probably would be better than the slop I get to eat here. With far better company.
Do cats PMS? I’m asking for a friend.
Throw back my ass,
Dweller of the boat, not in the mood for this shit, overlord of the closing castle.
P.S. It’s catnip bad for cats? Just wondering.


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