Letter Three: Teaching Humans to Sleep, The Tempest Papers

The third installment of the lost letters from Tempest, the Boat Cat to her Human, Paris back on land. A salty sailor cat with a bit of a sailor’s language! The poor cat has been left on a boat to take care of four humans and two dogs along with one other cat, who isn’t much help.


Dear Paris,
Abyni has been playing her ukulele again. Again. All day. While the sun is shining. What the HELL? Why do humans feel the need to be up and about during the hottest time of day? The sun is freaking shining. Its time to find a hole and curl up and sleep. Idiots.


How can I help them transition to night time living? I’ve tried running across the deck and over their hatches for hours each night to help them stay awake, but they don’t appear to appreciate my efforts at all. At least there is the benefit that my vigorous exercise all night long helps me sleep during those horrible, bright hours of the day most of the time.
Looking for ideas. Perhaps its time to bring out the vomit on the pillow trick? Nah, its not that serious. Yet.
Queen of the boat pets, Overlord of the floating Castle of 11 Purple Monkeys, in dire need of sleep.

P.S. In case you didn’t believe me about the ukulele playing All. The. Time. You can see in these very small snippets that the girl does indeed play the ukulele. On the beach? Yep. On the boat deck? Yep! In her room? YEP! In the salon? YES.